Bibles & Bourbon
“Over time, the draw wasn’t the bourbon—it was the brotherhood.”
Practice
Start with who you know. Invite people from your existing circles—neighbors, school parents, or teammates.
Create a consistent space. Pick a regular time and place that’s easy to get to.
Set a tone of trust. Open with honesty and remind everyone that what’s shared stays in the group. That kind of vulnerability leads to real connection.
Keep the invitation personal. Small, direct texts work better than big group messages. Everyone wants to feel seen and personally invited.
For more than a decade Josh Haynes has been inviting men to the practice of sharing a drink and sharing a conversation about life and faith. Josh shared the origin, “We would pick a Thursday night once a month, everyone would show up on their bike, and we'd ride to a local brewery.” It morphed during the COVID pandemic to hosting men in his backyard as a place to be known and engage in conversations that mattered. “We called it Bourbon Bible Study. We later changed it to ‘Bibles & Bourbon’ to put Bible first and Bourbon second.” What the practice provided was a framework for cultivating meaningful friendships among men in the neighborhood.
“We created a container,” Josh explains. “We'd say, ‘What’s shared here stays here.’ That vulnerability set the tone.” “If we're like, ‘I'm Josh. I live in the neighborhood. I like bourbon.’ Everybody else is going to say basically the same thing.”He continues about the importance of intention in conversation. “But, if you begin, ‘This is a safe place. This is a real opportunity for us to come together.’ It can change people’s lives.”
Josh honestly and enthusiastically shares how the practice unfolded. “The bourbon helped get people to show up. And over time, the draw wasn’t the bourbon—it was the brotherhood.” The conversations ranged from fatherhood to career paths. “Guys showed up as neighbors and left as friends,” says Josh.
Calendar and communications are two practical lessons Josh has learned from the decade of practice inviting men into conversation. “It doesn’t work if you try to accommodate everybody instead of saying, ‘Here's when and where we’ll be. If you want to be a part of it, join us. If you can't make it, that's fine. We’ll see you next time.’” When it comes to communication, Josh has learned how most men respond to messages. “If I text 25 people, nobody responds. But, if I send a text with four to five, it is funny how all of a sudden, it's like, ‘I'd love to be there.’” The truth is no one wants to be on a giant text thread. And, everyone wants to feel personally invited.
Josh shared that the best way to begin is with existing connections—neighbors, tennis teams, or your kid’s school. “You don’t have to start from zero. Most of us already belong to something. Build on that.” Invite those in your orbit into the next layer of relationship. And invite nearby neighbors. “I've thought about this a lot. If you only have to drive 5 minutes, you’re more prone to do it.” At its root, Bibles & Bourbon isn’t about either the drinks or doctrine. It’s about presence. The practice of men sharing an honest conversation will always reveal something sacred.
Thank you to Josh Haynes for his inspiring conversation and contribution to this article.
