“How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives.”
Annie Dillard
All of us have a “rule” or way we spend our days, and ultimately how we spend our lives. We have, consciously or unconsciously, created rhythms and rules by which we live. Regardless of our personality we order and arrange our lives in some way. A desire to be more awake, aware, and attentive to what God was doing in my life began to increase in the last decade. I came to the belief the structure of my life was forming the fruit of my life. What I was looking to arrange my life in a way that would be more fruitful had been practiced for centuries. It was called a Rule of Life. It was a way to structure and live into the rhythms of grace.
Jesus often spoke in agricultural illustrations. And he did so beautifully about vines in John 15.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
I was introduced to the image of a trellis for a Rule of Life through Pete Scazzero’s “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality”. Rich Villodas, who followed Pete in pastoring New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, New York, expanded on the concept for me. Both pastors helped correct my adverse reaction to the “rule” by providing an inspiring picture of the life of a vine supported by the “rule” of a trellis. The Rule is not the focus, but it is the framework that supports.
A Rule of Life gives a framework for our life with God to grow and be fruitful. Crafting a Rule of Life is then to establish the rhythms and structures for us to remain, or abide, in the love of God.
Many who practice crafting a Rule of Life trace the origins of the rule to The Rule of St. Benedict, originally written to serve monastic communities in sixth century in Italy. The Rule of St. Benedict established in writing a shared rule of life in hopes of experiencing a life with God. One of the liabilities in crafting a personal Rule of Life is the absence of a shared practice. Inviting and allowing your Rule of Life to be seen and known by others is crucial for both the encouragement and accountability they can provide.
A Rule of Life is created to live attentively and gratefully for what God is doing in every area our lives. Our desire is to not having our spirituality compartmentalized to one day or one hour, but to experience the love of God for the whole of our days and our lives. Our aim is to live an integrated life following the Way of Jesus.
Jared Mackey
“Developing a Rule of Life is a way of being intentional about the personal rhythms and guidelines that shape our days.”
Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
Rhythms to consider for a rule of Life
HABITS | DAILY
SCHEDULE | WEEKLY
CALENDAR | MONTHLY
TRADITIONS | ANNUALLY
Reminders for a Rule of Life
from Ken Shigematsu, God In My Everything
START SIMPLY
BUILD SLOWLY
LIMIT REGULARLY
BE AWARE OF YOUR ENERGY
LIVE INTO THE SEASONS
A GOOD RULE BENDS
PLAY
DON’T GO IT ALONE
Values for a Rule of Life
from Joan Chittister, Wisdom Distilled from the Daily
LISTENING - the goal of spirituality is awareness to God, our life, and others
STABILITY - our growth requires that we remain rooted in a community and practice
HUMILITY - transformation is a quiet, patient, and humble process
Practices for a Rule of Life
from A.J. Sherrill, The Enneagram for Spiritual Formation
EXPLORE SPIRITUAL PRACITICES as they are not “one size fits all”
UPSTREAM PRACTICES allow us to confront and press into our unique areas of growth
DOWNSTREAM PRACTICES allow us to savor our unique connection to God, life, and others
Questions for a Rule of Life
from Rich Villodas, New Life Fellowship, Queens
Where do I experience joy?
How do I sense God’s presence?
Who do I want to become in 10 years?
Where do I have significant gaps in my maturity and growth?
When do I enjoy being me?
Who do I feel at ease with?
Where am I called to lead others?
BOOKS for a Rule of Life
God in my Everything, by Ken Shigematsu
The Common Rule, by Justin Whitmel Early
Wisdom Distilled from the Daily, by Joan Chittister
At Home in the World - A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us, by Margaret Guenther
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Pete Scazzero
Liturgy of the Ordinary, by Tish Harrison Warren
You Are What You Love, by James K.A. Smith
Atomic Habits, by James Clear
Rule of Life for Entrepreneurship, at rule.praxislabs.org
Bridgetown Church, at practicingtheway.org
“A good Rule of Life can set us free to be our true and best selves.
It is a working document, a kind of spiritual budget, not carved in stone but subject to regular review and revision.”
Margaret Guenther
A PROCESS TO BeGiN TO CRAFT A RULE OF LIFE
STEP 1 | Write down where you experience joy in different domains of life.
List what fills you with delight. Often when we think of answering how we experience joy we limit ourselves to what we consider spiritual activities. The four domains help expand our imagination where we experience joy: Spiritual, Personal, Relational, Vocational.
Step 2 | List habits to limit or eliminate because they constrict joy.
Reflect on habits that pull you away from abiding in the love of God. This list does not require the activity be inherently evil or assumed as addictive. It is something you know impacts you negatively. Consider what practices could confront those habits and will cultivate joy.
Step 3 | Reflect on the four domains of Personal, Spiritual, Relational, and Vocational.
The four domains of Personal (me & me), Spiritual (me & God), Relational (me & others), and Vocational (me & work) have obvious overlap but encourage an integrated life through different aspects of life. Ask what domain is difficult for you to establish habits?
Step 4 | Acknowledge the reality and challenges of this season of life that impact your daily rhythms.
You may be currently parenting small children, in a demanding season at work, caring for aging parents, or recovering from an illness, death, or divorce. All of these factors construct the reality you are living in. Don't make your Rule of Life impossible to follow.
Step 5 | Limit your Rule of Life to a few daily, weekly, monthly, or annual practices for each domain.
Do not have more than 1-2 Daily, Weekly, Monthly, or Annual practices for each domain to begin. A Rule of Life must be realistic in order to be life giving. A Rule of Life is not an ideal you strive towards, it is a foundation you do not want your life to exist without.
Step 6 | Read your Rule of Life regularly.
Make a practice of reading your Rule of Life regularly. It may be a weekly practice to help realign your habits each week. Consider keeping your Rule of Life written inside a journal or at your desk as a reminder to arrange your day to experience the joy and love of God.
Step 7 | Clarify how you will continually live into your Rule of Life.
Revisit your Rule of Life to review and revise it to the season of life you are in.