On the anniversary of my grandfather’s death, I called my Mom to ask how she was. She said, “People don’t really mention my parents to me anymore. Maybe they are afraid it would make me sad, but I’m already thinking about them all the time.” I began to reflect on the loneliness of grief and how layered the pain can feel when we have no means of sharing it. Shortly after, I came across the ancient practice of observing All Saints Day—a day to honor all holy people who lived faithful lives in Christ. Not martyrs, but those saintly, hidden lives known only to God.

My family and I joined Monroe Organic Farms’ CSA this past year. Each week, Monroe would drop off a handful of shares at a neighbor’s home, and everyone would come by to pick up their vegetables. Along with getting big bags of beautiful produce each week, I got to know the Monroe family more deeply, along with Mary Ann, my neighbor, who sat in her garage for two hours every week distributing the farm shares.

The Kallander family attended their first Flower Street block party before they closed on the sale of their home in the Lakewood neighborhood. That first block party began to build a foundation of community and connection with their neighbors. The next summer, the neighbors who had lived on the block since 1956, passed the baton to Karin Kallander and two other families to organize the party. For the last 16 years, at the end of every August, there is a beautiful block party on Flower Street.

Our family first joined a community garden when our kids were in elementary school. At the time, we didn’t know much about growing food, and we lived in a townhome with a small shady yard that had yielded two seasons of disappointment. We quickly discovered that gardening in the company of others gave us access to a wealth of knowledge and opportunity. Alongside neighbors—many of whom we might not have met otherwise—we dug, planted, watered, and weeded, and slowly learned the rhythm of life in the garden.

“Halloween is a boo-tiful day to get to know your neighbors.” says Kristin Schell, founder of The Turquoise Table. There is no other day of the year when more neighbors knock on each other’s door. Halloween is a unique opportunity to show hospitality to your neighbors and neighborhood.

Fallen leaves are an annual reminder of who is your neighbor. They are an invitation to care for both the people and place around you.

We must know our neighbors to love our neighbors. Only in doing life together do we make visible the heart of Jesus to our neighbors. Coffee Friday might be the practice for you to get to know your neighbors. Or, replace coffee with something else that might unite your neighbors. I bet on coffee.