Counseling Office
“A counseling office is a place where you go to heal and grow to become the more full version of yourself.”
The counseling office is a sacred place. It is sacred because it provides a place to uncover past pain, practice health, and reenter relationships and the world around us with increased stability and clarity. “It’s a confessional,” says Kelley Gray in our conversation about her counseling office as a sacred place. With conviction and compassion, she continues, “People say things they’ve never said out loud—things they’ve maybe been haunted by for years. I hold it with them and the unburdening I see people experience in here is sacred.”
For Kelley, counseling is a vocation rooted in deep presence, courageous honesty, and love of neighbor. It is easy to hear the passion in her voice as she reflects on the work of holding space for others. As a 15-year-old girl from rural North Alabama, she asked her mother to buy her psychology textbooks. “I had my first psych class at Northeast Alabama State Community College with Dr. Burke. I loved him!” Now, after decades of practice, she still burns with the same passion. “I love it so freaking much!” she erupts. “It burns like the core of the earth!”
Kelley describes with vivid imagery the counseling office as a place of practice. “You’re practicing here. If you want to get better at conflict, then practice with me. Tell me your most negative thoughts that come up. I’m like, ‘OK good, try again!’ You’re practicing here so that you can go into the field because out there it’s not a sweet Coach you’re talking to.”She sees the counseling office as a safe place to equip people with the emotional and relational skills required to navigate life. “I love the physical therapy analogy because people come in and say something is not functioning the way it should. They know they have some limited capacity.” With sincere enthusiasm she explains, “I like to figure out what’s going wrong and practice skills to get better. I just call those reps.” And for Kelley, there is a real joy when people stop seeing her regularly. “I love to graduate people!” The counseling office is the place where we excavate our past and work through our pain so we can more fully reengage our life.
When asked how a counseling office encourages the love of our neighbors Kelley responds with excitement, “My brilliant husband said, ‘A counseling office is a place where you go individually to heal and grow to become the more full version of yourself. Then you share the fruit of that work with everyone in your neighborhood and the organizations around you.’” She offers an important insight into the correlation between human connection and relational health. “Modern neuroscience absolutely states we cannot just focus on ourselves and be a functional entity. You are not healthy unless you are connected to others. You don’t need to be extroverted; it can be a very small circle of investment. But it is outside of yourself. A closed system in physics produces chaos. It doesn’t work anywhere.” Kelley’s confidence in the critical importance of the counseling office is contagious. She is a counselor you want to do the work with to become more whole.
A counseling office is a place of confession and a place to practice. It is a place where we become more whole, to be more connected to ourselves and each other. A counseling office is a sacred place.
Thank you to Kelley Gray for her conversation and contribution to this article. You can learn more about her counseling practice at kelleygray.com.
